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| Personality disorder |
| 01.26.04 (1:36 pm) [edit] |
A while ago I had a problem. It was simply this: My personality--my "self"--changed to suit the person I was with at the moment. I did this so much that I forgot who I relaly was. I no longer knew how to just "be myself". It's a scary thing to lose...to not remember how you really act. When you seem to have every side to you that possibly exists...
I adopted personalities of movies and depending on the movie I had watched, most likely, judged the outcome of my mood, which, in turn, caused my personality to fluctuate. Does this make any sense? It's like this...I can be anything you ask of me. But...when I'm the sweet little girl...know that somewhere beneath that mask lies a killer as well...
I've decided that my disorder must go. I want myself back..whichever self I really was. Perhaps I'm it all and just never knew. Perhaps "me" is really lost and I'm going to stay this way forever with my many sides. Dr. Jeckel and Mr. Hyde just made a new enemy... I have far more sides than one.... But I'm changing that. I will be Chona once again...whoever that is... But I think I've decided that happiness is the best course. Where will evil take me? Where will it lead? All the paths are dark...where is my light except in Jesus Christ?
"And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...I will fear no evil...for I once was Evil...and evil...evil remembers me well..."
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posted by: sassyronica (reply)
post date: 01.26.04 (2:29 pm)
i've done the same thing... awesome blog
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